Hi! Welcome to my website!
Make yourself comfortable! Though as of the writing of this little stream of consciousness the place is quite bare bones, so there's not much to settle down with. Ya know, For the longest time I've had a quite hard time bringing myself to create anything. Forget a website. I've always wanted to make the things I can see with in my mind become reality. I love to explore and connect to the world around me so I can absorb what makes life cool to me and make it into something new. As a kid just staying in my imagination was good enough, but as time went on I discovered all these different ways one can create. I bumped into the more typical ones. Painting, drawing, writing, music. These are things that I still to come back to, but my first real love was front end coding. When I had made my first web page rather than the usual cringing at how ugly as fuck the creation I had made was. I was struck with wonder at how the funny sentences I wrote made something decently pleasant to look at (I may not have cringed this time, but I still winced, lol). To my misfortune I was having such a spark in a shitty high pressure environment, a coding bootcamp. Just as quickly as the spark came aflame so did it get stomped out. I had failed the course. I've had alot of experienced a lot of failure at that point with creative pursuits and I would always take it quite hard. I saw it as my final attempt at becoming someone who can just make cool shit. Idk I'm sure there's a better way to word it, but that's what it mostly was. I just wanted to make really cool things and show people. For years I was heartbroken, but for alot reasons I managed to finally pick myself up and just let myself be the person I want to be. Making this website and picking up html and css again represents a first towards an alchemical journey of becoming the best version of myself. I hated failure because of how intensely foolish it made me feel. It's okay to be a fool though, we all start somewhere. As time goes on I hope to tidy up the place more and more as I figure out what I even wanna do with this place and how to approach it. There's so many things i want do and I have so many interests. I want them all to just interconnect and make a really big pretty picture that is my self. I want this place to be the core while I go and "journey" through all of my interests and map out what I think is cool and interesting. Throughout this map I'm gonna show off the interesting bridges between all my interests. it's gonna be so cool. I wanna experiment all these forms of self-expression I've bumped into through out my life. Show off what cool shit I managed to make and talk about how it changed me as person and as an artist. Let this be my first step into the world of creation I've always so admired and that I may make many wonderous friends throughout this journery.
